By Victor Oladokun
Living in Liverpool, England, at the age of 5, as with every British child, I was enrolled in kindergarten.
There was a problem!
As a bi-racial child with a slight brown complexion, my equally tiny classmates constantly called me a ‘Golliwog’ (a doll with a black face, wide mouth, gleaming white teeth, huge eyes, and fuzzy hair). This was at a time when the term was widely regarded as an offensive racial slur.
But one day, something in the little 5 year-old me snapped. I picked up a pencil with a sharp point and plunged it into the arm of the kid who had just called me the favorite classroom slur.
Time stood still!
He screamed!
I froze in horror!
Immediately, his arm turned black and blue.
The ambulance arrived and he was rushed off to hospital.
I was rushed into the office of the Headteacher for a meeting that would subsequently lead to suspension.
I learned 3 things from that incident –
1. Emotional detachment: You learn early that someone’s harsh words say infinitely more about them than about you. Call it ‘Psychological Teflon.’ Insults, criticism, and manipulation slide off instead of sticking to you.
2. Intuition: In childhood ‘boot camp’ where abuse can be commonplace, you become exceptionally good at reading the room. Socially, when a sentence could be a landmine, you train yourself to hear tone, watch micro-expressions, and detect the emotional temperature in seconds. This turns into elite social calibration later in life. You are able to spot liars easily, and know when to speak, and when to remain silent.
3. Boundaries become non-negotiable: On the downside, surviving verbal attacks can force a child to build internal walls just to stay sane. The upside though is that you learn to draw boundaries early, and to remain calm under fire. While it may look like “resilience” to everyone else, for the survivor, it is protective armor.
This Sunday morning, as I look back at my 5 year-old self, I say, “But for God, I could have ended up being just another statistic, lost to the system!”
In all things therefore (the good, the bad, and the unpleasant), I prefer to give thanks, because I know that I know that I know, that God specializes in turning around for good what the enemy meant for evil.
I’m not sure what your life experience has been. It may not have been a bed of roses. BUT … In all things, give thanks. Know and believe that Your Maker has your back and will turn it around for good.
Have a Blessed day!
The Personal Experience of Victor Oladokun
Living in Liverpool, England, at the age of five, I was enrolled in kindergarten like every other British child.
There was a problem.
As a bi-racial child with a light brown complexion, my tiny classmates constantly called me a “Golliwog,” a term associated with a doll caricatured by a black face, wide mouth, gleaming white teeth, huge eyes, and fuzzy hair. At the time, the word was widely known as an offensive racial slur.
One day, something inside the little five-year-old me snapped. I picked up a sharp pencil and plunged it into the arm of the boy who had just hurled the familiar classroom insult.
Time stood still.
He screamed.
I froze in horror.
Almost immediately, his arm turned black and blue. The ambulance arrived and he was rushed to the hospital. I was taken straight to the headteacher’s office for a meeting that would eventually lead to my suspension.
I learned three major lessons from that incident.
First, emotional detachment. You learn very early that someone’s harsh words say far more about them than about you. It becomes a kind of psychological Teflon. Insults, criticism, and manipulation slide off rather than stick.
Second, intuition. Growing up in a kind of childhood boot camp where verbal abuse is common, you become exceptionally good at reading the room. When a single sentence can be a landmine, you learn to hear tone, watch micro-expressions, and detect the emotional temperature within seconds. Later in life, this evolves into a rare level of social intelligence. You spot liars easily, and you know when to speak and when to remain silent.
Third, boundaries become non negotiable. Surviving constant verbal attacks forces a child to build internal walls just to stay sane. The upside is that you learn to draw clear boundaries and stay calm under pressure. What others call resilience is, for the survivor, protective armor.
This Sunday morning, as I reflect on my five-year-old self, I cannot help but say, “But for God, I could have ended up as just another statistic, lost in the system.”
In all things, whether good, bad, or deeply unpleasant, I choose to give thanks. I know that God specializes in turning into good what the enemy meant for evil.
I do not know what your life experience has been. Perhaps it has not been a bed of roses. But in all things, give thanks. Know and believe that your Maker has your back and will turn it around for good.
