“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my current husband and then the issue of marriage came up.
I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that he doesn’t want a court marriage for no reason.
My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged him severally to legalize his marriage with me but he stood his grounds not to wed me in a court.
I involved his family members to help me beg him but they said, he’s old enough to make his decisions.
He even refused to do a white wedding either because my church requested for a court certificate, so we ended up doing only traditional marriage.
I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was hurt and broken but I resolved to marry him like that just to save myself and my family the shame of having a baby outside wedlock.
My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he didn’t care and because of that my dad vowed to see me a successful and independent woman with or without him.
After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me secure a job with a multinational company and things started to turn around for me.I could now take care of myself and secure a future.
Though I married my husband but I never forgave him from my heart and it made me not to do anything in my husband’s name.
We currently have three kids together but all my properties are in the name of my children. I never used him as my next of kin either.
Just last month my company decided to transfer me to a branch in Texas and the company is willing to pay for my entire family to relocate with me.
My husband’s business is not doing too well and he’s willing to relocate also but we have no legal certificate to show that we are married. Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our marriage and I have said “No”. My dad has threatened to disown me if I ever go with him to court.
He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife who is not loyal to her husband, spoiling my family also.
His family members have been calling me trying to persuade me but I told them I’m old enough to make my decisions also and I have stood my ground just like he did to me nine years ago.”
What is your advice for this young mother of three?
